Why therapy is not my cup of tea; yet

Well, it’s not even bizarre in today’s day and age to have a session with a therapist! Considering how much we talk and how less we are ready to listen. I am not talking about listening to others on the contrary it’s about listening to the voice inside us, which is constantly calling out but we are too busy just living our lives while ignoring ourselves.

It’s not even funny how much I ignored myself and now when I have taken some time off from this world and this ‘so called’ normal life, I have genuinely become frustrated with myself which makes me realize what did I do to the people who were a part of my life earlier and what am I doing to my family? But neither they nor I have any other option for now.

When I further mull over it I have come to a negotiable conclusion that I have never spent enough time with myself, I never cultivated and invested in my inner conflicts and believes. I had become the biggest hypocrite you can meet.

Nevertheless I am trying to spend some time with myself now and trust me it’s not so easy!

You get to experience every clichéd nuances you have heard of; from loneliness to darkness, crying all night, insomnia, lack of vision, drive and motivation and the list is endless….

Keeping in mind the above mentioned symptoms, it can truly be called as ‘depression’. But who decides that; Search engines, society, movies or these web series?

But to be honest we ourselves manipulate our minds so that again we can escape from our anxieties and fears.

Actually we are unable to accept that we have failed in all our endeavors; we have completely failed to understand ourselves, hence we are just psyching ourselves with this ‘safest’ excuse so that we can hide behind our failures and lack of self worth.

Ouch! Indeed it is a bitter truth and it hurts.   

Now if you have a certain idea about how this so called ‘mental health awareness projects and practitioners’ are making money out of your insecurities and your existential dilemma, it is actually quiet for mind boggling.

Here is what they do:

*They make you comfortable in your skin

*They let you express uninhibitedly without judging you

*They don’t intervene and listen to you attentively

*Most importantly they let you accept yourself and help you turn your negative thoughts into something positive.

I have nothing against such noble act and those who help others come out from their darkness.

What we actually don’t comprehend is that they are so many other people who can’t afford this luxury or there are many others who are still not aware to realize that each person who thinks they need help is a psychopath and is a hopeless piece of flesh?

What can they do?

Naturally what other people would advice them is to keep sucking up to the race which they are naturally a part of and let it kill you from inside every day until nothing is left in you to be able to give anything to yourself or to others and ultimately turning you into an aggressive frustrated human being.

What am I doing with myself?

Just because I have a realization of all these aftermaths and as I am going through this dark period I can certainly tell you no one can help you unless you want to help yourself!

Here are few of my observations:

Firstly, you got to reach to some conclusion, you need to decide certain things for yourself it would be harsh and that can also aggravate the symptoms but if you know in your head where will you reach after conquering this darkness you will somehow get through it.

Second of all, you have to stop taking yourself so seriously and you got to bring this constant comparison of your life with those around you to an end.

Most importantly, you have to come to terms with the fact that from the time you took that decision for yourself and then onward, your new journey has begun.

You will have to embrace this change in you, you will have to unlearn everything and this time to form a solid foundation of thoughts and principles decided by you and not by the society or your family.

Lastly every day and every moment will be different and you and only you will have the full power to change your thought process in any moment of your life.

Remember human mind is very malleable, it can get influenced by anything anytime, and it’s up to every individual to always take the control and maneuver it accordingly.

Now the question arises? What if you don’t have the ability to help your own self? Then you know the answer; simply consult a therapist, for those who can’t afford those pricey sessions can always turn to social media and YouTube or free online mental health websites.

according to me, what i believe would genuinely help is forming a strong bond with yourself and not seeking attention and love from others and that bond can only be strengthen by your faith in almighty and though meditation.

On the whole, this process of unlearning, reinventing and self help will take it’s time!  It is definitely not a 2 minute noodle recipe; it’s an entire process of healing and transformation whether you are opting to help yourself or you are taking help from a therapist.

Embrace patience as nothing lasts forever.